Ryan, I am weeping. That story of the widow bidding her husband good-bye with the word “friend” broke me open. It reminded me of a poem I just read yesterday - “In Memoriam, XIII by Alfred, Lord Tennyson. There’s a line in there written after the death of his friend, where he calls him the “comrade of my choice.”
I was already deeply moved by the recounting of the story you told about the woman who spoke of her abuse that happened within the church community. As I read, I thought how uncomfortable such an openness would make many in church congregations. I was struck by how you said the following: "When we cannot tolerate someone’s grief we cannot access the spiritual riches found throughout it.” I think that line sums up why so many in church settings would be uncomfortable with such a recounting. They would not be able to enter into or even tolerate someone’s grief. Mourning takes place in community. This congregation was given a beautiful gift because this woman could open the door for all of them to mourn all that was lost individually and communally.
Grief upsets all our religiosity. It does not fit into any boxes that the church today often would like to give us when it comes to sorting through the experiences of life that say you can fit in boxes that have labels with the words “suitable platitudes for....(You fill in the blank.) written on them.
There is so much here. So much. Thank you for all of it. Someday, I’d love to just sit down with you and KJ and talk about all you shared just in this one post.
This is incredibly touching. Both stories. I wish I could share my deconstruction grief honestly with someone. No one really fits the bill. It is a lonely place to be. Pretending that my world has not changed for the sake of keeping our peace.
And that “friend” - yes, tears. Thinking the same of my husband
Breathtaking. Aching. Beautiful. Grateful you are willing to keep writing these hard things. The grace of those moments, the woman speaking truth about abuse from the lectern, and the woman saying her goodbye bring grace and peace, while also holding the pain that life presents us. Thank you.
Beautifully said, Ryan. Those sacred moments in the 'thin' spaces reveal a longing that is unlikely to be ever be filled this side of heaven, but keep pointing us to the "Friend that sticks closer than any brother..." Appreciate you.
Ryan, I am weeping. That story of the widow bidding her husband good-bye with the word “friend” broke me open. It reminded me of a poem I just read yesterday - “In Memoriam, XIII by Alfred, Lord Tennyson. There’s a line in there written after the death of his friend, where he calls him the “comrade of my choice.”
I was already deeply moved by the recounting of the story you told about the woman who spoke of her abuse that happened within the church community. As I read, I thought how uncomfortable such an openness would make many in church congregations. I was struck by how you said the following: "When we cannot tolerate someone’s grief we cannot access the spiritual riches found throughout it.” I think that line sums up why so many in church settings would be uncomfortable with such a recounting. They would not be able to enter into or even tolerate someone’s grief. Mourning takes place in community. This congregation was given a beautiful gift because this woman could open the door for all of them to mourn all that was lost individually and communally.
Grief upsets all our religiosity. It does not fit into any boxes that the church today often would like to give us when it comes to sorting through the experiences of life that say you can fit in boxes that have labels with the words “suitable platitudes for....(You fill in the blank.) written on them.
There is so much here. So much. Thank you for all of it. Someday, I’d love to just sit down with you and KJ and talk about all you shared just in this one post.
Blessings. Keep writing. I’m here to read it all.
Thank you for the beautiful comment Sally. And thank you for reading. We would love to finally sit down with you for a visit—soon enough!
This is so beautifully expressed. Going through a dismantling, and your words are spot-on and I feel less alone having read this. Thank you so much.
This is incredibly touching. Both stories. I wish I could share my deconstruction grief honestly with someone. No one really fits the bill. It is a lonely place to be. Pretending that my world has not changed for the sake of keeping our peace.
And that “friend” - yes, tears. Thinking the same of my husband
Breathtaking. Aching. Beautiful. Grateful you are willing to keep writing these hard things. The grace of those moments, the woman speaking truth about abuse from the lectern, and the woman saying her goodbye bring grace and peace, while also holding the pain that life presents us. Thank you.
Beautifully said, Ryan. Those sacred moments in the 'thin' spaces reveal a longing that is unlikely to be ever be filled this side of heaven, but keep pointing us to the "Friend that sticks closer than any brother..." Appreciate you.
So much here. Thank you.